HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
