One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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