Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
