You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
