No stitches, just platelets and will power
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
