5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
