let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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