I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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