They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
