Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
