I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
