wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
