my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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