I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
