Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
