I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
