Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
