My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
