last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
