Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
