Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
