I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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