We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
