His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
