i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
