I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
