He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
