i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize