I wish life had little blips of pornography
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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