there's paper in my vomit.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All the doctor said was why
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
