...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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