saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
