OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize