I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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