Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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