THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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