If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
