How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
