that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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