Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
