i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize