I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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