1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i think i just lost a toe
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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