Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
