There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
40s are totally the cure
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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