Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
