when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize