I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
