who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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