So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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