oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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