dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
