I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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