it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
