And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
