so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I have post one night stand depression
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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