But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Success! We fucked roommates!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
