We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize