So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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