I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
