i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
