and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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