I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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