Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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