Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
