If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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