Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
