guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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